Have Hope

After my big bellyache (literally and figuratively) today, I learned 5 a.m. has accepted two of my poems.

Because I just recently submitted there, I was sure it was a rejection. When I opened it, I had to look it over twice two realize that yes, they want two of my poems.

What's interesting about these poems is that one has been revised and revised and retitled and revised and the other is a poem I've always liked, but I've been convinced that no one else would. In fact, just last night I cut it from my manuscript because I was wondering if it held its own.

It's funny, now because of this yes, the poem will return to its regular spot. It had always been in my mss until last night when I thought, "Let's tighten this as much as possible..." And in a last minute decision--click--it was gone.

Poems are funny that way, I can love a poem and love a poem, but if someone (say a journal, say an editor) doesn't validate my feeling of wonderfulness I may start to get a little iffy with a poem. "I don't know if it's good enough..." I'll say. Some poems I hold on tight to, they can be rejected and rejected, but if I love them hard enough I could care less who says yes or no, but others, usually my poems that are of praise or more positive, if I don't get an acceptance after X amount of time, I may worry if they are really as strong as I think.

I think doubt appears in a poet's or artist's life in many ways. I think doubt in regards to individual poems is just one way. In the biography, Sexton doubted herself as did Plath... I remember reading how John Berryman would wake in the morning feeling as if everything he wrote was pure genius, that he was pure genius. By the time he went to bed he believed he had no talent whatsoever.

I think the important thing to remember about doubt is that if you can live through it, you will learn it's only temporary. Doubt will come and go. As will success. As will publication. As will awards. As will rejections. As will ______________. Poetry is has a thousand legs taking you in a thousand directions. It's a journey not a destination, a ride not an outcome. Enjoy.

Sayings from a Good Mother..

I saw this on another blog and liked it--

1. mean people aren't "mean," they have problems. when you look at it this way, you have sympathy toward them, not anger.
2. every accomplishment deserves a party. with cake.
3. sing. read. play games.
4. always look at the big picture. in every frustrating situation, pause and ask, what matters here?
5. don't do your make-up while driving.
6. balance is key. don't drink too much, don't eat too much, don't do anything too much.
7. find the right friends.
8. be responsible.
9. pray.
10. little things mean a lot.
11. it's nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.
12. love to learn.
13. appreciate the old.
14. get a lot of sleep and drink orange juice.
15. work hard and with a smile on your face.
16. tell your children stories about when you were a little kid.
17. cut out the nonsense. get off the phone, stop the gossip, quit complaining, no wallowing in the past. just get up and get cracking. there is way too much to do than to have time for nonsense.