Dear Reader,
It was an interesting week for me.
I was convinced that the entire world was cranky and annoying, when I realized it was me. I was cranky and annoyed (and probably annoying too) and those feelings created its shadow on the view on the world. It wasn't necessary a week worse than normal, but in my mind, it felt heavy and sad and conflicted with conflict, and and and...
But it's over.
A friend Ann always says the best thing when I have a bad day-- Well, at least you don't have to live that day over again.
And that's how I feel about last week. Though Friend, I wish you could have been with me when I whipped up my giant pink prom dress and made a dramatic exit from my favorite store. You would have smiled.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's been a sinful week of emotionally rollercoastering. I was not my own best self. I was the 16 year old girl falling across her bed and saying, "The world hates me."
So let me confess about my bad mood, my low tolerance, my entitled behavior, and maybe a few funny things as well.
To the confessional--
I confess I made a small scene when my entitled self couldn't get store credit for something I purchased and never wore. It was at a consignment shop, my favorite one (well, *was* my favorite one), and while it was definitely my fault, I was annoyed the owner wouldn't help me out. (I had always thought they did exchanges, but no, they do not and there are no exceptions.)
It could have been the opening to a joke-- 41 year old woman walks in with a giant pink prom dress.
Or a scene from a movie.
It was not my best self. I even said, "You don't understand, I have a big mouth, I will tell everyone about this." This was not my proudest moment.
Looking back now, while I still think she could have helped me out a bit and given me store credit (I even suggested she could give me not the full 100% of store credit, but that I'd be happy to have 80%), I realize I could have handled it differently. In which I mean better. Kinder. Still, the whole event made me cranky.
You are probably wondering why I am buying a prom dress.
I promise (um, maybe promise) to post a photo in a couple weeks, we're off to a prom party at a good friend's house in March.
~
I confess I went to traffic court Thursday and the judge thought I was hilarious because I had photos (I had taken while getting the ticket) and had drawn a picture with a big X and the word "Police!" She allowed me to defer my ticket, so if I can go 1 year without getting another ticket, it will be off my record.
Note: This was my second ticket in 6 months, so this is my personal challenge to slow down.
Note 2: Until this year, I had no tickets on my record. The last being one I received (a HUGE one) when I went to have lunch with Jeannine Gailey. I was rushing. I was late. Do not rush when you are late, no good can come of it.
* *
I confess I took my daughter to a class on puberty & development and the doctor sharing the info could have been a stand-up comic, she was so funny.
I was laughing hysterically at many parts, though most seem a little "too much information" in this context-- just know though that one had to do with how to use tampons (sorry if you are reading this early in the morning and/or are male...) and fears girls may have if they choose to use them. Let's just say the image of being in math class and having it come out your ear still stays with me.
It was so refreshing to go to a discussion on development that used humor as a way to share the information with girls who are wondering what the heck is going on to their bodies. There was also a boy's class in a separate hall.
I was very impressed with these two doctors for not making this somewhat-awkward time in a child's life scary or making them feel it is something they should be ashamed about or not talk about. She was also very good at reminding the girls that there is a community of women who care about them and want to make this time as easy as possible for them.
I confess I'm looking forward to Thursday night's class even more. We'll be talking about making good choices, feelings, how babies are made (apparently, there is no stork involved...weird), and how a boy goes through puberty. I cannot imagine the discussions in the car by my daughter and her 3 friends as we drive home.
I wish a class like this had been around when I was developing. It would have been better than to learn what was going on from a doctor than from:
1) Judy Blume books
2) The Free-to-Be-You-and-Me album
3) the scary illustrated book of a changing body my mum bought me that I hid in our guest room because it horrified me
4) Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley (along with the movie Grease and Rizzo's possibly pregnancy)
5) overheard conversations of adults and who in my neighborhood was having an affair with who
6) soap operas (specifically As the World Turns referred to as "Quiet, my story is on...")
7) friends who knew even less than I did
8) Our health teacher who was really a PE teacher and was embarrassed to refer to parts of the body so would just call them "these bits."
Though seriously, thank God for Judy Blume. At least someone was sharing information.
* * *
Amen.
