Okay, I actually tend not to regret. I'm one of those odd new-agey people who believe that every single action I've taken has led to this exact moment and had I changed one, just a sliver, things could be wildly different. And I like my life, so I don't regret my decisions, all my decisions except for one that has come back to haunt me-- the day I decided to delete my old blog.
I must have had two years of writing on it. Nothing mind-blowing, it's not as if I burned all the family photos in a bonfire, but one day, feeling highly self-conscious and convinced people from my past were googling me and I was giving away *way* too much information about myself, I went to blogger and hit the delete key. About two weeks after doing that, another poet/friend/blogger sent me a link of where I could have had my entire blog printed out and bound for me. D'oh! I could have saved all the information and *then* deleted it from the web. Duh.
Right now, coming to the end of school, watching summer flitter by and realizing autumn (my official start of the writing season) is approaching, I've been wanting to explore some writing ideas and what better place to check than old blog entries. Yes, I have the archives from this blog, but my mid-blog with the interesting details has vanished into the internet abyss because of one push of a button.
I have to say that I think that blog was better than this blog. This blog is aware most of the time that people are reading this. That blog really didn't believe anyone was listening and so I'd ramble on honestly and openingly without feeling vulnerable, of course, I was, I just didn't know it.
I am more open on this blog than I am Book of Kells, which is linked to my homepage. This is the blog that gets my open wounds, my daily chatterings (this could be good or bad), my first thoughts before the self-censorship monster moves in, the voice that says, "Be careful of what you say." I know, it's a bit weird to have a shy writer, though I do think many of write because it's easier than speaking.
So for any of you who go through a self-conscious period and decide to delete your blog, save yourself a heartache, save a paper copy of your blog for yourself you can do that here: Blogcollector or here: Blurb.com But don't just press the delete button without a backup. It's just a dumb idea... trust me. I know.
