The Details: Poetry and Life in a Small Town-- Thoughts Before Revision
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Confession Tuesday
I'm teaching at the Whidbey island writers workshop this week and this is my room. Well, part of it. There is also a great bedroom. It's in this funky inn overlooking the water, it's fantastic and just my style.
I confess I lost $20 or more on the ferry coming here though.
I have a bad habit of shoving cash in my pockets, my too tight back pockets along with my phone, a pack of gum, you name it, I've probably shoved it in my back pocket. I think when I took out my phone, the cash came with it but I didn't realize it. I cannot tell you how it bums me out to lose $20 or $30.
I always thought I'd get to a point where I'd be okay with that, but my capricorness, frugal saver in my is truly bugged by such a little thing. I guess it just feels so wasteful and irresponsible to me.
It is definitely a place I am hard on myself about. It brings up all those little girl fears about not having enough and not being responsible with money.
I guess I should next confess that my dad was a businessman and a fiscal republican to help explain my $ weirdness.
We were so opposite and yet, even with his rah-rah Ronald Reagan, we were so similar when it came to $$.
I confess it has taken me 30 years to become someone who doesn't worry (as much) over $, but I realize when something minor like losing $20 comes up, it surprises me to feel the old anxieties again.
I confess I wasn't planning on making this about money.
However the one thing that gives me a smile in this whole loss of cash incident, is imagining the person who finds my wad of cash and how that will make their day.
That is a good feeling.
I know, I am so bizarre. Plus, I haven't had my coffee yet.
I confess Waking up on an island in a windstorm / rainstorm is a wonderful treebranch seabird symphony. Love it.
