I received two rejections on Friday. Those of you who know me know that this is how rejections work in my life, they come in twos. So when I opened my mailbox, my TGIF mailbox, I received rejections from Virginia Qtrly Review and Field. Nothing surprising or life-changing here. I'm used to rejections, obviously, I'm a writer. But when I receive SASEs in the mail, I tend to rip them open quickly--for the good or bad news--then deal with them later (mark down on my spreadsheet what was rejected, etc. etc.)
So tonight when I pulled out these rejections, I noticed Field had mailed me back my original poems. Being the treehugger I am, I thought that I could reuse these, they looked pretty good. However, as I thumbed through the poems I noticed that the last poem I sent them was not a poem. Not a poem? you ask. That's right, along with my poems I also mailed them a little chart I had made for myself in December to track our VISA purchases.
Yes, I sent them 4 poems and a chart that said, "VISA Purchases Month: December: Date, Item, & Amt." I could only start laughing when I saw it. Oh, the ache of embarrassment. Hi, I want you publish my poems along with my Christmas shopping chart so I don't overspend with my VISA. Can you tell I'm a Capricorn?
What surprises me most is that they didn't write anything on it. Not even a bad joke like "Buy organizing file" or "Candy for Editors." But instead, they just returned it, along with my poems, & of course, the rejection. I'm sure they are like the FBI and have started a file on me, a file that begins: "Don't call us, we'll call you."
Um, I don't think I'll be submitting to them for a while, long enough for them to forget my name...
